Calm
by thecosmicwind
Summary: Based off Disrobed (season 1, episode 13). Olivia gets overwhelmed after her first shooting, and of course, Elliot is right there, keeping her together. Established EO. Season 1. Baby Bensler. Rated M for language.


**Hey guys.**

 **I'm back with a new one-shot. This time...it's based from season one, based off Disrobed (season 1, episode 13). Thanks to my girl Aubrey for this idea! Established EO...Elliot and Kathy are divorced. Olivia deals with the feelings that come after shooting someone for the first time, and of course, Elliot is right there, keeping her together.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

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 **Calm [ONESHOT]**

The day was not supposed to end like this.

This damn case was not supposed to end up taking this turn.

Those were the thoughts Elliot and Olivia were having as Elliot sped down the streets towards the area where Gina Silver lived. The 33rd precinct got a call regarding her abusive husband, and they later found that he had her hostage in the laundry room of the apartment complex. Elliot and Olivia were notified since they were handling a case involving her, so the two raced to the scene.

Once they arrived and were given the nature of the situation, the two raced inside with their guns drawn. Elliot pushed Olivia behind him to protect her, before poking his head into the laundry room;

"Roger?!"

Roger Silver pointed gun in his direction, leading Elliot to immediately jerk back; "Whoa...okay!"

He then glanced at Olivia, who swallowed nervously before nodding at him. Elliot learned against the wall for a bit, not inching any closer yet as he spoke;

"Let's just relax now hey? What do ya say?"

Elliot continued to try and talk him down as he and Olivia slowly inches into the room. Roger was watching them both intently, eyeing them. His estranged wife lay on the floor, being pinned down by his foot on her chest, and he had his gun pointed directly at her. Olivia stayed towards the door while keeping her gun aimed at Roger and her eye on his finger, which was on the trigger of the gun. She was shaking slightly, trying her hardest not to let her worry for Elliot consume her as she heard him continue to try and talk the awful, abusive man into putting the gun down.

"This is what you got, okay? Not a good situation... three guns, small room...Let's just relax, all right? Just... let's take a moment...Let's be calm, okay?" Elliot was still talking.

And Olivia's eye was still on that trigger finger.

"Just step away from her and drop your gun." Elliot spoke.

And then it all happened so _fucking_ fast.

Roger Silver raised his gun and prepared to take aim at Elliot, preparing to shoot him. Olivia raised her gun and pulled the trigger, and a shot rang out. Roger Silver fell back against the washing machines as blood splattered, and Gina jumped up and ran towards Olivia while screaming and crying. Olivia squeezed her arm and pushed her towards the waiting officers, before looking back towards the unconscious body of Roger Silver. Elliot kicked the gun away and checked for a pulse, before looking back at Olivia.

The look in his eyes said it all, and Olivia suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

She simply stared at him for a minute; her breathing was shallow, and she was shaking. She swallowed hard then shook her head before racing out of the room and going straight outside. The cold air could barely be felt due to the nerves and adrenaline that were racing through her. She was still shaking, trying to come to terms with the fact that she had really just shot and killed someone.

Eight years on the force, and it was her first time ever shooting someone, and she actually killed him.

Holy shit.

"Olivia!"

She turned around, coming face to face with Elliot. She opened her mouth but couldn't find the words to say. She was still shaking and looking up at him with wide eyes, unable to fathom what the hell had really just happened. She could feel herself still breathing quite heavily, and a flash of concern etched across Elliot's face straight away.

"Hey, hey give me this...I need this." He spoke softly. He covered her hand with his and slipped the gun out of her hand. At that point, Captain Cragen had arrived, and was rushing straight over to them.

"Are you both okay? Gina okay?" He asked.

"All good and Gina is good too; Liv saved all our asses." Elliot replied. Cragen nodded before looking at Olivia, who actually was still watching as the medical examiner made her way into the building. She swallowed again, her attention still being so focused on what had happened, that she actually jumped when Cragen put his hand on her shoulder.

"Olivia, relax," he told her, rubbing her shoulder; "This is your first shooting - IAB still has to investigate and I'm taking your weapon and badge for right now; meet me at Internal Affairs building...you and Elliot."

Olivia simply nodded, her hands shaking still as she handed over her badge while Elliot handed over her gun that he was holding. Cragen nodded at them both before going back to the sedan he was driving, while Elliot walked Olivia over to their sedan.

"Liv wait..."

Olivia looked up. Elliot had turned her around and now had his hands on her arms

"Calm down."

"You were...I could...he was going to sh-shoot and I...I didn't...I..." she was stammering, and her breathing was increasing. Elliot looked around to make sure nobody was really paying attention, before then pulling her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head a couple times, stroking his hand up and down her back to calm her down.

"Hey, look at me baby..." he spoke quietly to her. She tilted her head up, her brown eyes meeting his blue ones.

"Breathe," he rubbed her arms gently as he held them, "Baby relax, breathe; I'm okay...you're okay...you did good; relax."

"I'm...I'm calm." She nodded as she tried to steady her breathing. She kept her gaze locked on Elliot's eyes, and allowed the pools of cobalt blue to anchor her and bring her back to reality. Her breathing calmed down and she stopped shaking so much, all the while Elliot kept rubbing her arms with his hands.

"It's okay, baby," he told her again before opening the car door for her; "Come on, the sooner we get talk to IAB and get this over with, the better."

Olivia nodded, slipping into the passengers' seat. Elliot closed the door then went around to his side and slipped in as well. He started the engine and turned the knob for the heat, before then looking over at her again. She was staring out the window and taking some breaths. He followed her gaze; she was watching as the medical examiner was coming out with a stretcher that held a body bag.

He sighed, then took hold of her hand before peeling away from the curb. He held her hand tight as he drove to the Internal Affairs building, the silence mounting between them, tension filling the atmosphere. Elliot knew it wasn't directed at him, but it was just the overall nerves of the situation. This was her first shooting ever as a cop which was always a hard thing to deal with, but the fact that the IAB Sergeant, Ed Tucker, was constantly on their asses for the smallest things; that made things ten times more nerve wracking.

He parked the car once they arrived, then looked over at her again. She had gone pale and she was shaking again, clearly nervous as she stared up at the building while her bottom lip trembled slightly. He squeezed her hand then lifted it to his lips, planting a soft kiss onto her knuckles. She turned her head to look at him, and it was then that Elliot could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"I've worked so fucking hard to get here, I've only had my shield for a year and a half," she whimpered, staring at him as her voice shook and dropped to a whisper; "What if I've lost it all?"

"Olivia, you literally just fucking saved me and a terrified woman, and me and a two other uniformed officers fucking saw you," he placed his hand on her cheek so that she was looking at him; "There was nothing you could have done, _nothing_."

"I could have talked to him and-"

"And what, have him possibly turn that gun on you?" Elliot tilted his head to the side; "And then I would be the one in hot water with Internal Affairs because I would have killed him."

Olivia sighed, swallowing before looking at the building that they were about to walk into; "Did you feel like this the first time you shot someone?"

"I shook like a leaf and almost threw up the first time I shot someone," he chuckled a bit, "I went home, didn't talk to Kathy for hours; she kept pushing me until I finally blurt out what happened; except I yelled it at her, told her not to touch me, then stormed out."

"How the hell did she put up with you for fourteen years?" Olivia raised an eyebrow as she looked back at him.

"God knows; it wasn't easy for her being married to me," he ran his hand down his face; "You've calmed me down though, maybe because I'm with someone that I actually love and have a connection with." He then kissed her hand again, giving her a soft smile while she took a deep breath.

"Smooth talker," she smirked; "It's making me feel a little better though, so thank you."

"I got you, baby," he dropped her hand before ripping the keys out of the ignition; "Come on, let's go get this over with."

Olivia nodded her head, taking another deep breath as she and Elliot stepped out of the car. He placed his hand on the small of her back as they headed inside, and they made their way up to the third floor where they would be meeting. Tucker's assistant informed them that Tucker would be with them soon and gestured for them to wait in the waiting area. Elliot and Olivia thanked her before heading over to the waiting area, where their captain was sitting.

"You two okay?" Cragen asked as soon as he spotted them. Elliot nodded while Olivia just shrugged her shoulders as she raked her hand through her hair. Cragen gave her a small smile as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I told you it's your first shooting, you don't have anything in your jacket really, you've never been written up or suspended; they'll take all that into consideration, Olivia," he told her, taking on a fatherly role as he spoke softly; "And you know me, and Elliot will fight for you. You're a good cop, Olivia; don't worry."

Olivia nodded her head, smiling slightly while whispering a simple _'thank you'_ as they remained sitting together, waiting.

The hour passed in a blur it seemed. The rather intimidating IAB Sergeant Ed Tucker spoke to both Olivia and Elliot – separately – and both of them gave detailed and thorough explanations of what happened and what went down. Elliot reiterated several times that there was no other solution, and Olivia maintained that she followed procedure and did what she had to do to save innocent lives. Tucker knew that the two of them were quite close, and while he nor nobody else really knew of the relationship between the two partners, he also knew that they would definitely go to bat for each other.

Olivia looked up as Elliot came out of the room, grumbling under his breath. He sat himself down beside her while Tucker waved for Cragen to come into the room. Cragen shot them both a look before going in, and Olivia jumped when the door slammed.

She and Elliot sat in silence for a while; Elliot has discreetly slid his arm around her waist and was stroking her hip, trying his best to keep her calm. She relaxed into his touch, allowing his presence and the sight of those beautiful blue eyes to be her anchor. In the six months that she and Elliot had been dating so far, she had allowed him to see the side of her that she kept hidden, that vulnerable side that sometimes needed to cry or cuddle up and be told that everything would be okay. She wasn't used to sharing that side, but Elliot was an understanding, beautiful person and she felt like she could be herself and give him every single part of her. He kept her safe and made her feel better, and she was so grateful.

She was so fucking grateful, especially right now.

The door opened, and they quickly stood up; Elliot dropped his hands to his side while Olivia folded her arms across her chest. Tucker eyed them for a moment before handing over her gun and badge, telling her that it was all good and what she did was justified. She thanked him and shook his hand, through he responded with what sounded like a grunt before walking away. Cragen told the two of them to go home as it had been a long day, and Elliot and Olivia didn't even think twice about it.

It wasn't long before they reached Elliot's apartment building – only after they stopped and picked up some Chinese food. Once inside, they both kicked off their coats and boots, then Olivia made her way through to the bedroom to change into something a little more comfortable as she just needed to get out of anything she had worn to work today. She unclipped her gun and badge and placed them on the dresser, then slipped out of her pants and shirt.

Then she stopped, and she sat herself down on the bed. The thoughts of the day were rushing back again, swirling around in her head like the angriest tornado, finally sinking in properly.

She had shot someone for the first time today – and had actually killed them.

She was investigated – and cleared – by the Sergeant of IAB, the son of a bitch that was constantly trying to tear her and her fellow squad members down constantly.

Her career almost went up in flames today all because of a fucking single shot – something that had to be done, but something that she almost felt so fucking guilty for.

She shot someone and took a life – and that _never_ was okay.

"Fuck." She muttered. She leaned her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands, finally allowing the tears to slip down her cheeks as everything hit her all at once and sank in completely. Her shoulders shook as she sniffled and swallowed, her breathing becoming a little shallow as she continued to cry to herself. This whole fucking case was overwhelming of course, but today – today was just a little too much to deal with.

She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and felt his chin rest on her shoulder. She felt his soft lips on her cheek and temple, she felt the strong arms squeeze her tighter. The scent of his aftershave filled her nostrils and helped her to relax ever so slightly.

"I'm right here – I promise you, I'm here." He whispered in her hear. His voice made her heart hammer against her chest, yet the overwhelming feelings began to subside. He was there. Her anchor was right there.

She turned around and curled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped both arms protectively around her. He kissed the top of her head while rubbing his hand up and down her back, all the whole she clung to him, her fingers curling around the material of the shirt he was wearing.

And now, she was _calm._

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 ** _And there we go guys. A one-shot is complete. Please, leave some reviews and all that. Until next time...xoxo_**


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